Someone I know posted an alleged quotation from J. D. Vance. Most of it was a real quotation, but the last sentence was made up. It proposed something which I don’t think Vance or any other major candidate has proposed. I didn’t think it was much more bizarre than what he has actually proposed. Since it had no attribution, I tried looking it up. It didn’t take long to establish that if Vance had ever said the last sentence, it wasn’t in that context. I replied that it was fake news, assuming that the poster had picked it up from somebody else.
He responded that the supposed quotation was a joke, and his referring to Vance as “Jack Daniels Vance” was supposed to make that clear. It didn’t for me, and I think it wouldn’t have for many other people. It’s common on the Web to make mocking alterations in people’s names while saying true things about them.
I’m reminded of the “couch sex” rumor. Somebody named Rick posted the story for fun. When it became widespread, he was “surprised and a little overwhelmed,” but it wasn’t in his power to stop it. People kept repeating the story as fact, even though looking up the alleged citation would have quickly shown it wasn’t. (And even if it was true, what’s the big deal?)
People are far too ready to believe any story that fits their biases. Even tales from clearly labeled satire sites, such as the Onion and the Babylon Bee, occasionally get circulated as fact. A site called Real Raw News presents absurd narratives, even claiming that living people have been killed. It has a devoted following that regards its alternate universe as fact, and others treat it as a misinformation site. Poe’s Law says it’s impossible to parody outrageous views without having some people take them for actual views; similarly, it’s almost impossible to tell an absurd tale to someone without having someone take it for a real event.
This doesn’t mean we have to give up on silly stories. They’re fun to tell to an audience that knows they’re just that. But we have to recognize people’s capacity for taking such things as facts. At the same time, a sober disclaimer can ruin the mood. To remedy this, let me offer some humorous disclaimers that can fit any made-up story. Make sure it’s prominently visible.
- This story has been certified 100% free of gluten, GMOs, and facts.
- Any resemblance between this story and actual facts, living or dead, is coincidental.
- Certified 100% fact-free by the Bureau of Balderdash.
- This content may not be appropriate for children under 3 or others without a sense of humor.
- If you believed this, please let me know so I can tell you about some sure-fire investments.
- (After breaking off in mid-sentence) The people responsible for this post have been sacked.
Satire is a tricky thing, sometimes. I thought that the “quotation” was sufficiently silly as to be obvious satire… but some of the MAGA crowd are hard to satirize, as their views are so extreme. After the “dogs and cats and geese!” nonsense became widespread, I thought to satirize it by extending it to “and CHILDREN! They’re hanging CHILDREN from trees and cutting them up to eat!”. But before I had my pseudoquotation tweaked to my taste, I heard that Laura Loomer was alleging that the Haitian immigrants are eating children. At which point I gave up.
(Also, I thought that my “Of course, …” conclusion was rather more preposterously disconnected from the premises than usual even for Vance’s arguments.)