Note to companies that purchase content: This is a satire, not a model to follow! 😊

These are from the experience of other writers as they’ve described them on forums, just a bit exaggerated in some cases. I can only speculate on what the reviewer was actually thinking, but the writer can easily imagine a professional sadist at the other end of the transaction.

If you want to cultivate a team of writers who will give you a steady stream of material, please don’t follow these examples. Most reviewers try their best, but hastily-written comments can leave writers bewildered and discourage them from fixing easily-corrected problems.

The content reviewer sat down at her desk and opened the list of new submissions. She so enjoyed responding to them.

The first article in the queue was in response to the company’s request for a product description of their hand-cranked runcible guns. It described them accurately. That one was easy to respond to. With a chuckle, she typed:

REJECTED. We don’t make hand-cranked runcible guns.

The next piece was excellent, but it could use a couple of links to convey a sense that it had been researched. She could ask the writer to add the links, or she could add some herself, but what was the fun in either one?

REJECTED. No links provided.

So far, so good. The next piece had a lot of very strong content and handled SEO nicely. It also had three spelling errors.

REJECTED. A dyslexic chimpanzee could have produced better work.

Was it already almost time for her coffee break? She could fit in one more article if she dealt with it quickly.

REJECTED. qwertyuiop

Time for coffee. She loved her job.