Here’s Chapter 40 of The Magic Battery. It’s a little Christmas story by itself.
The Christmas guests at Thomas’s house were the mages Lucas Schneider, Jacob Kessler, and their families. The dinner, everyone agreed, was excellent. The fire made the room pleasantly warm. Everyone was in good spirits.
Kessler stood on a chair and raised his cup. “To Thomas Lorenz, for bringing in a new age of magic!” All joined in enthusiastically.
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Some things are sillier than any parody you could make of them. An example is Stanford University’s recent “Elimination of Harmful Language” document. It was greeted with so much laughter that Stanford has hidden it behind a login screen. Fortunately, the Internet Archive still lets you see the document, so we can still make fun of it. Try to imagine writing an article adhering to its demands. It would have no color (oops, can’t say that — racist!), and the effort would leave you gasping (belittles people with asthma!) and drive you insane (insults people with psychiatric issues!).
It starts with a self-own: “Content Warning: This website contains language that is offensive or harmful. Please engage with this website at your own pace.” Further on, it self-owns the self-own by telling you that a “trigger warning” “can cause stress about what’s to follow. Additionally, one can never know what may or may not trigger a particular person.”
That last is actually the one piece of sensible advice in the whole clown act. Psychological experts have found that warning someone that scary stuff is coming only makes the reader more anxious. So naturally they don’t follow their own advice.
For the rest, I can’t do better than pick out some gems:
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My latest article for Online Library of Liberty, “Authority and Oppression in Verdi’s Operas”, is now up for your reading enjoyment. I’m especially proud of the research that went into this one.
Originally I wrote this piece, in a slightly different form, for a non-public journal. If you’re a writer who’s looking to add Mastodon to your communication and publicity resources, you might find it useful.
Mastodon is a federated system for making brief, usually public posts. Unlike Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, the system doesn’t belong to any one owner. Anyone can set up a server (also called an instance), and it’s fairly easy and cheap if you have a little tech knowledge. It’s like FidoNet from the days of BBSes, before the Internet was open to the public, or like Usenet.
Mastodon is built on open-source software and is part of a larger system called the Fediverse. There’s a video sharing system of sorts, but it hasn’t really caught on. Hosting video is much more daunting than hosting messages and images.
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Just some more miscellaneous complaints about how people abuse the English language. I’ll avoid ones I’ve already written about, and hopefully the items here aren’t the ones you usually see. To vary things a bit, I’ll include some alleged corrections which I disagree with.
“Free reign.” The term “free rein” means lack of restriction, letting someone do what they want. If it’s applied to a government official or agency running wild, “free reign” could make sense, but in general it’s wrong.
“LOL.” Laughing out loud is appropriate when something is funny or ridiculous, but too many people on the Internet stick it onto everything they say. For some, it’s a cheap way to score a point. Some people seem to think it softens what they say. It doesn’t.
“Illegal” as a noun. People do illegal things. There is no such thing, at least in the United States, as a person whose existence is illegal.
“Begging the question.” I’m losing this battle, but I’ll keep fighting it. Begging the question is the fallacy of assuming the point which is to be proven. Example: “The Bible is true because it says so in the Bible.” People often use it to mean something like “leading to the question.” Granted, expressions shift in meaning, but “begging the question” as a term for a fallacy conveys a precise, useful meaning that shouldn’t be watered down.
“Ad hominem.” While we’re on the subject of logical fallacies, here’s another one whose name is often misused. An ad hominem argument attacks the person making a statement rather than its facts or reasoning. We often see it used for insults in general. An ad hominem argument doesn’t have to be insulting; an example of an ad hominem argument could be “X isn’t European and has never been to Europe, therefore his statement about Europe is wrong.” (Technically, this item is about abusing the Latin language.)
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The direct inspiration for this article was a piece (by a friend I won’t name) that complained about a “quantum increase” in something. The idea of a “quantum increase” or “quantum leap” is that at a sub-microscopic level, changes in the state of particles are discrete, not continuous. A particle’s energy goes from one level to another without going through intermediate levels. In other words, a quantum leap is the smallest amount of change possible. A lot of writers must think it means something else.
That’s just one of many scientific terms that get mangled in popular writing. Let’s look at a few more.
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The more technical an issue is, the easier it is to report it incorrectly. Today I noticed a widely retweeted claim that Parler had sent the email addresses of all its users in a message related to Kayne West’s acquisition of the service. Here it is:
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A change in PayPal’s policies has blown up in its face. PayPal claimed the right to debit accounts $2,500 for “misinformation.” It would be the sole judge of what constitutes misinformation. In the face of widespread user fury, PayPal backed down, claiming “the language was never intended to be inserted into our policy.” Even with the removal of that language, it still has language financially penalizing some forms of expression.
People often disagree on facts. Some people make claims which others say are false. Non-fiction writers are in the business of asserting facts, and sometimes they claim that what’s “common knowledge” is wrong. Many writers get paid through PayPal, and sometimes it’s the only option the customer offers. If PayPal decides your article is wrong, it could take away a large fraction of a month’s income.
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Computers are everywhere, yet writers of scripts for movies and TV constantly get them wrong. Ludicrously wrong. Good written fiction, especially science fiction, does better, but writers of all kinds need to be careful. You can depart from the real world if you like, but you have to know what you’re doing. Make sure the reader knows it’s intentional.
Here are six ways writers can mess up. Not all of them are completely impossible, but if you use any of them, you at least need to make the scenario plausible.
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The word “Fascism,” as it’s too often abused in political discourse, has come to mean nothing more precise than “bad.” There are clearer words for governments that exercise improper power, such as “authoritarian” and “totalitarian.” Fascism is supposed to denote a certain kind of authoritarian system. Writers need to exercise precision when using the word, rather than tossing it around as a general insult.
In its original sense, the word comes from the Fascist Party of Italy and refers to Italy’s government under Benito Mussolini before and during World War II. It’s used more broadly to indicate governments that follow policies similar to Fascist Italy or people who (allegedly) support those policies. Just what are those policies?
The best place to start is with Mussolini’s own words. The History Guide provides some key writings by Mussolini. The page is in English; my Italian isn’t up to any serious reading. Near the beginning we find the most important point:
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