Satire

How to impress people with the word “algorithm” 1

This entry was posted in Satire Writing and tagged algorithms pretentiousness usage vocabulary on by

If you want to come across as a writer who really understands computers, the best way is to learn about them. Read technical books and blogs. Learn how HTML and HTTP work. Find out what the common security fallacies are.

But that’s a lot of work. A quicker way is to use the word “algorithm” a lot.

An algorithm is a precise but abstract description of a computational process. “Precise” means laying out each step mathematically, so that any implementation should produce the same results. “Abstract” means it’s independent of a particular programming language or operating system. You can implement an algorithm in C, PHP, Java, or any other language. Some algorithms work more easily in some languages than in others, but there’s no inherent requirement to use specific technology.
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The content reviewer, as seen by the writer

This entry was posted in Satire Writing Writing as business and tagged clients satire writing on by

Note to companies that purchase content: This is a satire, not a model to follow! 😊

These are from the experience of other writers as they’ve described them on forums, just a bit exaggerated in some cases. I can only speculate on what the reviewer was actually thinking, but the writer can easily imagine a professional sadist at the other end of the transaction.

If you want to cultivate a team of writers who will give you a steady stream of material, please don’t follow these examples. Most reviewers try their best, but hastily-written comments can leave writers bewildered and discourage them from fixing easily-corrected problems.
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